January 2012
3 posts
8 tags
70 cents on the dollar
Real reasons why women earn 70-80 cents per every dollar men do:
Lack of interest in higher-paying science- or math-based jobs, such as engineering, IT, and banking
Prioritizing family over career, i.e., by taking a few years off or working part-time while raising a family
Greater demand for work-life balance not afforded in many higher-paying senior positions
Reasons why people think women...
3 tags
better start my request for a new passport now
If newt gingrich or mitt romney are elected president this year, I am going to enact my Move to Argentina 2012 campaign immediately.
3 tags
December 2011
5 posts
7 tags
psst! pass it on
Atheist coming out party: http://www.facebook.com/events/265943503469890/#!/events/265943503469890/
7 tags
The obsessive-compulsive in me likes pore cleansing strips way too much.
6 tags
Why is discovering porn considered a rite of passage for adolescent boys, yet so few women even admit to masturbating?
I want to make myself a t-shirt that says:
I masturbate and I’m proud of it. This is what a feminist looks like.
1 tag
i'm going to start a blog
..dedicated exclusively to reposting all the ridiculous religious shit my large, very-catholic family posts on facebook. uggghhh.
I can confidently assert that a regular running regimen has done more to improve my character than any religion ever could.
November 2011
1 post
October 2011
2 posts
Google knows me
Select the days and times when you’re likely to need Gmail to step in and double check that you want to send that email.
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
From to 10pm to 4am
Difficulty (higher is harder) 1
But the math questions it gave me were too easy, so I set it to 4/5.
Now if only I could set gmail to not let me use my email until I send...
Modern food makes me nervous
“Sugar free, fat free, gluten free, and vegan!”
uh… what exactly are we eating then?
August 2011
4 posts
Should i
go blonde or go dark chocolate blonde?
6 tags
most ever song lyric ever
“your mascara paints my bed
well that can’t be right
but that’s the only way that i can get you wet.”
…of course it’s in my top 25 most played
background context: i have about 5 different jobs and pending jobs right now.
complaining to a friend: my new job tutoring esl blows.
friend: oh, your tutoring one with xyz company?
me: oh, no. not that one. xyz company is great. they do the opposite of blow. they……. suck?
4 tags
To me, being unemployed means, why *not* have wine with lunch?
July 2011
4 posts
Facebook is getting smarter and smarter
and creepier and creepier: “Kelly and Lindsay Ignatowski are now friends after both attending WMG Friend Raiser (aka “See our Cool India Pics!”)”
setting my youtube username as mr. zebrasnlionsomy as a subversion of gender norms and thinking that’s really funny is something i *would* do while drunk….
“I’m dumb she’s a lesbian….everyone’s a little queer, why...”
– This was my story with dudes for so long in college.
Attacking my to-do list with a vengeance today
June 2011
3 posts
I cut my own bangs today
The bad part is that they actually turned out pretty well, further fueling my scissors urges and making me feel invincible.
I want to cut *all* of my hair now. Not just a trim, but cut it, short. majorly. I feel like, hey, I’ll google it, I’m pretty smart, I’ve watched hairdressers do it a lot and I know what I want, it can’t be bad, right?
TELL ME NO.
new okc game
when boring guys message me, see how many lines/replies i can write to turn them off to *me*, instead of just being turned off to them.
ie:
hey fridge girlw asup?
[10:22:43 pm]zebrasnlionsomy:asap?
[10:22:47 pm]zebrasnlionsomy:what should i do asap?
[10:22:52 pm]UAguy61:wasup*
[10:23:00 pm]UAguy61:-.-
[10:23:21 pm]zebrasnlionsomy:i choose not to decode your...
yaya!
today:
wake up, yell at someone, win the fight. force him out of bed to come work out with me at 730 am.
do http://www.hundredpushups.com/ and 200 situps, 200 crunches week 1 workouts.
delicious breakfast. arrive to work late BUT before my boss still. score.
productive meeting with the boss. i have good suggestions *and* she likes them (rare combo…)
forgot lunch. everyone is...
May 2011
5 posts
There are footprints on my ceiling, I can’t help this fucked up feeling.
like melted ice cream
I was told once that I look at love like a 14 year-old girl looks at losing her virginity: I want everything to be clean and romantic and perfect with nice straight lines. There better be candles, I will wear my best lingerie, and I have the perfect track picked out for the moment of penetration.
I already accept that life is generally more fun when it’s crazy, so I’ve also resolved...
“Lindsayism #1: She’s not your daughter, Hector, she’s my cat.”
– upon getting tired of hearing hector talk about how he lost her in the divorce and how he can’t believe i would “expose his little girl” to dangerous things.
March 2011
4 posts
2 tags
every guy that i bang
I am going to give a “this is what a feminist looks like” t-shirt to as a present.
If I don’t see him wearing around within a week or two, then the relationship/bangship is over.
New Policy
If I find anything from an ex that has been left in my house/car/office for more than a month after the breakup, it is fair game. I am throwing it away, no questions asked.
If they wanted it, they woulda asked by now. *Especially* if the ex is a douche, and especially if I already tried to remind them nicely to pick up their crap.
Ahh. Goodbye favorite SF giants hat, skinny black tie, and...
February 2011
4 posts
Rugrats is about feminist families
themetanerd:
aviruswithshoes:
Mrs. Pickles is the educated breadwinner, Stu often chasing his less profitable dreams
Phil & Lil’s mom, obvs (short hair, female symbol sweatshirt, clear second waver
Charlotte, ballbusting CEO who wants Angelica to have an edge in a male-privileged world
Suzie’s family, upper-middle class black family with a really accomplished mom
Chaz, sensitive...
January 2011
3 posts
High of 76 tomorrow?
Ok!
I love arizona.
December 2010
4 posts
2 tags
Liquor makers would do well to select a nomenclature that rhymes with “party” to edge out Barcardi’s monopoly in every club and rap song. Free advertising to your primary target, yo, why has only one company capitalized on this amazing chance?
But really, let’s party. Down with the Bacardi.
Conversation 20 years from now
My kids: Moooom, you can’t “rock out” to The Strokes!
Me: Oh hell yes I can! (Turn volume all the way up, roll down windows, and make the sign of the horns in front of all their friends).
Based on my assertions to my mom that despite the radio being on volume 20, you cannot rock out to Fleetwood Mac or Elton John.
why?
Why have my last three messages on okcupid (a dating website) been called wink even though I changed my profile to specifically disallow winks? A wink is the most un-message message one can send; it just says “so-and-so sent you a wink!” Nooot really a conversation started and so I disabled them but a few clever guys have figured out a way around it by simply entitling a message...
November 2010
13 posts
1 tag
I am currently wearing the *most* preppy sweater I will ever own.
And it is like two sizes too big.
Even though it is a small. And I have gained 10 lbs since receiving it.
And it is baby pink.
thanks, Grandma.
guess who gets to drive to phoenix at 4am on...
this girl!
but that’s ok. I have motivation. My airport ritual is that any time I get in and have time to kill before a flight, I always go to the airport bar and drink a local beer. no matter what time it is. hey, i’m not driving, i have nothing better to do, i’m on vacation!, and it’s a good way to experience some local culture while laid over in, say, north carolina.
...
4 tags
what is wrong with people?
Brussel sprouts are delicious.
at least if you:
buy them fresh from trader joes at $2.99 for a 3 foot pole of sprouts
boil them for 5 minutes
toss them with olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic, and parmesan cheese, with a splash of lemon juice.
mmmmmmm
It is not every week that I can tell people
“Please excuse me, I have to go hot compress my cat’s ass.”
oh, it has not been a boring week….
I hate it when people ask me if I have cable yet
I am always like “yet”?
just like being an agnostic, no one seems to think that not having cable is a feasible endstate in which one can choose to remain. fuck it, i will do both!
ughh
I am pretty sure the guy who lives next door to me is unemployed. He also refuses to sit inside his home watching tv, being quietly and depressedly unemployed like everyone else.
Any time I happen to be at home between 8am and 5pm, he is outside on his porch loudly talking on the phone for hours about his baby momma drama or trying to sing metal in his horrible, horrible voice.
...
As soon as I pay off my credit card debt
I am going to go blonde again. oh, so blonde. and maybe short too! i’ve missed both. It’s just, they really do have more fun.
anyone wanna contribute to Lindsay’s going blonde fund?