Of hammocks and pomegranates

religious tolerance

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 16:05:00 -0400

I had to let several memebers of my class take their break early on friday because apparently it is a KNOWN FACT that Jesus died at precisely 3pm on that day however many years ago and their future salvation was contingent on them making it outside to pray at that exact time (I didn’t know that Jesus’ life was measured in mountain standard time).

not wanting to condemn them to eternal damnation, or myself to a hostile visit with HR, i told them, “of course, please step out when you need to.”

that’s all well and fine, but I expect to be able to leave work early when i need to make it to my atheist meeting at a certain time. (yeah right.)

I guess it’s kinda like how you lose out on smoke breaks every couple of hours if you’re wise enough to not smoke. damnit.

Ridiculous things christians i know post on facebook #6

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 17:36:26 -0400

“Adivino que la única manera para aprender a depender en Dios es que Él te quite todo.”

In English: “I guess the only way to learn to depend on God is for Him to take everything away from you.”

Ridiculous things christians i know post on facebook #5

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 17:26:58 -0400

Original post: “‎$50 going all in blind and winning with a 7-2 offsuit. Thank you, God.”

Friend’s response: “Did you just thank God for letting you win in gambling? lol”

OP: ” @Friend: Proverbs 16:33.”

(A quick google search for this proverb shows the following:

New International Version (©1984)
The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD.

New Living Translation (©2007)
We may throw the dice, but the LORD determines how they fall.)

Ridiculous things christians i know say on facebook #4

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 15:18:31 -0400

On vacation: “Another day in Maui paradise…God is Good !”

- other aunt

Ridiculous things christians i know say on facebook #3

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 15:12:29 -0400

“My husband also went to NMU & our son went there last year. I love the area, yes it is truly God’s Country!”

- aunt

shit. am i allowed in?

Ridiculous things christians i know post on facebook # 2

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 14:57:57 -0400

Just got a phone call with some amazing news. Someone in my family with a very serious, poor prognosis cancer got a phone call this morning (on a Sunday) from her oncologist , saying that the Xrays they took Friday showed NO cancer. I am so thrilled. The only reason I am posting this on fb is to share will all of you what I truly believe is a Christmas miracle. God Bless!

- unnamed close relative

on a sunday! whoa! must be god, only he works on sunday.

oh wait…

Ridiculous things christians i know post on facebook #1

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 14:52:09 -0400

“Celebrate St. Patick: Way back in the day, the Christians in England didn’t do the best job spreading the Gospel. They sent no missionaries to the pirates in Scotland. So God sent the pirates to raid England, pillage and plunder, and take back a boy named Patrick (and the Gospel with them). Dear complacent Christians, make sure you are using your talents to spread the Word because you might not like how God makes sure the job gets done.”

- Ex boyfriend (emphasis on the ex…)

70 cents on the dollar

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 00:43:00 -0500

Real reasons why women earn 70-80 cents per every dollar men do:

Lack of interest in higher-paying science- or math-based jobs, such as engineering, IT, and banking
Prioritizing family over career, i.e., by taking a few years off or working part-time while raising a family
Greater demand for work-life balance not afforded in many higher-paying senior positions

Reasons why people think women earn 70-80 cents per every dollar men do:

discriminationz

Real feminism starts with taking resonsibility.
So ladies, let’s stop bitching, get our science/math/law degrees, prioritize our careers, and start making the big bucks. Or make the decision that other things are more important and take responsbility for that choice.

better start my request for a new passport now

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 18:57:14 -0500

If newt gingrich or mitt romney are elected president this year, I am going to enact my Move to Argentina 2012 campaign immediately.

the format is not dead after all! prediction that they are...

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:43:01 -0500

the format is not dead after all!

prediction that they are gonna explode soon.

but even if not, still awesome new band.

psst! pass it on

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 13:05:00 -0500

Atheist coming out party: http://www.facebook.com/events/265943503469890/#!/events/265943503469890/

The obsessive-compulsive in me likes pore cleansing strips way too much.

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 23:27:14 -0500

The obsessive-compulsive in me likes pore cleansing strips way too much.

Why is discovering porn considered a rite of passage for adolescent boys, yet so few women even...

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 15:06:00 -0500

Why is discovering porn considered a rite of passage for adolescent boys, yet so few women even admit to masturbating?

I want to make myself a t-shirt that says:

I masturbate and I’m proud of it.
This is what a feminist looks like.

i'm going to start a blog

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 12:24:58 -0500

..dedicated exclusively to reposting all the ridiculous religious shit my large, very-catholic family posts on facebook. uggghhh.

I can confidently assert that a regular running regimen has done more to improve my character than...

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 15:04:46 -0500

I can confidently assert that a regular running regimen has done more to improve my character than any religion ever could.

ilovecharts: I was nervous, but the call went really well....

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 21:07:14 -0500

ilovecharts:

I was nervous, but the call went really well. Please call your representative. Tumblr makes it really easy for you.

The Internet is my home; keep it free.

Google knows me

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 17:31:49 -0400

Select the days and times when you’re likely to need Gmail to step in and double check that you want to send that email.
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
From to 10pm to 4am
Difficulty (higher is harder) 1

But the math questions it gave me were too easy, so I set it to 4/5.

Now if only I could set gmail to not let me use my email until I send it a picture of my room showing that I cleaned it.

Modern food makes me nervous

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 17:24:17 -0400

“Sugar free, fat free, gluten free, and vegan!”

uh… what exactly are we eating then?

Should i

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 10:15:27 -0400

go blonde or go dark chocolate blonde?

most ever song lyric ever

Sun, 21 Aug 2011 23:43:17 -0400

“your mascara paints my bed
well that can’t be right
but that’s the only way that i can get you wet.”

…of course it’s in my top 25 most played